Helping Kids Find Their Voice: Fun Strategies for Parents of Non-Verbal Whiners

Every parent knows the challenge: your child isn’t using words to express themselves but instead resorts to whining, grunting, or other sounds that leave you guessing. It can be frustrating, exhausting, and sometimes downright confusing. If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone. Many parents and caregivers face this daily puzzle. The good news is that with patience, creativity, and a few practical tools, you can help your child find their voice—and make communication a lot more fun along the way.

This post offers lighthearted, effective strategies inspired by the wonderful book Guac Use Your Words by Dani Lawrence, written by a mother of four and grandmother to six. Let’s dive into ways to support your child’s communication journey without losing your sense of humor.

Why Kids Whine and Grunt Instead of Using Words

Before jumping into solutions, it helps to understand why kids might choose whining or grunting over words:

• Limited vocabulary: Young children or those with speech delays might not have the words they need.

• Frustration: When kids can’t express themselves clearly, they often resort to sounds that get attention.

• Habit: Sometimes whining becomes a learned way to get what they want.

• Sensory or developmental differences: Some children find it easier or more comfortable to communicate non-verbally.

  
  

Recognizing these reasons helps you respond with empathy rather than frustration.

The Power of Encouragement and Patience

The first step is to create a supportive environment where your child feels safe to try using words. Dani Lawrence’s Guac Use Your Words emphasizes gentle encouragement over pressure. Here are some ways to do that:

• Celebrate small wins: When your child attempts a word, even if it’s not perfect, cheer them on.

• Model clear language: Use simple, consistent words when talking to your child.

• Stay calm: Your patience teaches your child that communication is a positive experience.

  
  

Remember, your attitude shapes how your child approaches speaking.

By Dani Lawrence

Fun Strategies to Help Kids Use Their Words

Here are some playful, practical ideas to turn whining and grunting into words:

1. Use Visual Aids and Speech Cards

Kids often respond well to pictures and symbols. Create or buy simple speech cards with images representing common needs like “drink,” “help,” or “play.” When your child whines or grunts, gently guide them to point to the card instead.

2. Turn Whining into a Game

Make a game out of guessing what your child wants when they whine. For example, say, “Are you saying you want your teddy bear? Let’s say ‘bear’ together!” This turns communication into a fun challenge.

3. Sing and Rhyme Together

Songs and rhymes make words stick. Sing simple songs that include words your child needs to use. For example, “If you want juice, say ‘juice, please’” to the tune of a familiar melody.

4. Use Role Play and Puppets

Kids love playing pretend. Use puppets or stuffed animals to model conversations. Have the puppet ask for things with words, encouraging your child to respond similarly.

5. Offer Choices with Words

Instead of open-ended questions, offer two choices verbally and visually. For example, “Do you want apple or banana?” This encourages your child to use words or point to make a choice.

When to Seek Extra Support

If your child continues to struggle with using words despite your efforts, consider consulting a speech therapist. Early intervention can make a big difference. Speech therapists can tailor strategies to your child’s unique needs and provide professional guidance.

Keeping It Light and Loving

Parenting kids who don’t use words yet can feel like a rollercoaster. It’s okay to laugh at the grunts and whines sometimes—they’re part of the journey. Dani Lawrence’s approach reminds us that communication is about connection, not perfection.

Try to:

• Celebrate progress, not perfection

• Use humor to ease tension

• Remember your child is learning, just like you